When you feel anxious, stressed, or overwhelmed, how do you know the feelings are yours (or theirs)? Have you ever stopped to think if you’ve picked up on someone else’s anxiety, stress, or overwhelm?
I remember the first time someone told me I was holding on to other people’s emotions. It sounded strange, so the comment went in one ear and out the other.
It wasn’t until someone sat me down and said, “You are an empath. You are an extremely sensitive person, and you are absorbing the emotions of the people around you,” – that I began to listen.
Wait. I’m absorbing the emotions of the people around me. Why would I do that? How am I doing that? It didn’t make sense to me.
I wanted to know how this happened, so I decided to keep track of how my moods shifted from when I woke up until I went to sleep in the evening.
I got curious and observed my moods before and after – getting ready, interacting with my husband, driving to work, being at work, talking to a co-worker, walking into a grocery store, talking with someone on the phone, listening to music, watching a movie, etc.
I did my best to write down how my mood shifted—did I feel anxious, sad, angry, excited, overwhelmed, uneasy, happy, or calm before or after spending time with certain people or in certain rooms, buildings, stores, etc.?
Over time, I better understood why I could feel good one minute and then anxious and overwhelmed the next.
This information was invaluable because then I could decide if I wanted to spend more or less time with specific individuals, avoid certain places, or refrain from engaging with particular media such as movies or music.
Do you know if what you are feeling is yours or theirs?
If unsure, keep a journal handy or use a notes app to track your feelings for the next few days. Observe what you are doing, where you are at, who you are spending time with, and how and if your mood shifts.
Then, you can decide how much time you spend with someone or whether to decrease the time spent in certain places or participating in certain activities.
Of course, the next thing you want to do is clear your energy so that you don’t hold on to the difficult emotions of the people around you.
“Always say ‘my peace is more important’ when you find yourself reacting to something that doesn’t deserve your energy.” ~Idil Ahmed