A good friend of mine called the other day. She was feeling overwhelmed by finances and wanted to discuss her options with me. As soon as she started talking I could instantly feel how heightened her energy was.
I simply listened, allowing her to get all of her thoughts out without being interrupted. Bottom line was, she wanted to remain positive and trust that she would meet her income goals for the month.
Her thoughts were moving so fast which caused her to talk fast, think fast, and react fast. To help her slow down and get out of her head, I had her put her hand on her heart and simply take some deep breaths. Her mind slowed down and she immediately felt an emotional release. She explained that normally she was so good at staying positive and trusting, but this time it wasn’t working for her.
I asked her what was the worst thing that would happen if she didn’t meet her goals for the month. She hesitated to answer because she did not want to think negatively, but then responded that she and her husband would figure it out, they always do. I immediately felt her voice and energy soften.
It made me think of the law of attraction and the book, The Secret, which discusses the importance of staying positive and using positive affirmations – how the thoughts we put out come back to us, so we should focus on the positive ones. I believe it is important to keep a positive outlook on life, but I also believe that we are going to experience the not so fun emotions, such as doubt, fear, sadness, etc.
I know I can also find myself avoiding the negative emotions because I don’t want to burden anyone, or I don’t want jinx myself – but then I remember that all emotions are okay and that if I try to avoid the not so fun ones they can hold me back or keep me stuck.
Here are some tips I use when I become aware that I’ve been avoiding the not so fun emotions. I know they can help me get unstuck and find clarity in the situation. Try them out when you find yourself avoiding.
- I reach out to a friend and/or write in my journal to get the thoughts out of my head. I find that if I keep the thoughts/stories in my head, they grow.
- I acknowledge and accept the emotions I am trying to avoid and sit with them. Simply acknowledging them can allow them to pass.
- I take some deep breaths, sit in meditation and focus on the present moment. This helps when I am getting caught in the future – the outcome or in the past of what I “should have” or “could have” done.
- I take a break, go for a walk, listen to music or draw.
- I review what I have written in my gratitude journal, which helps me focus on what I have versus what I do not have.
As my girlfriend shared more about her situation, she was able to acknowledge the fear and doubt she was avoiding. She realized that she was exactly where she needed to be and was able to trust herself again and once again felt good about her plan.
The more you hide your feelings, the more they show. The more you deny your feelings, the more they grow.” ~Unknown