Can you let it be? Or are you someone that feels the need to dig in, figure it out, and get to the root cause – so that you can understand the reason something happened or didn’t happen?
I would say that I’ve been more the type of person that likes to dig into things, and figure out why I am feeling a certain way, the reason myself or someone else reacted or didn’t react a certain way.
However, I’ve been working on moving more to the middle, where I don’t always have to dig in and figure it all out – thank goodness! Because digging in can be so exhausting! It can be freeing to be able to just let it be.
I picture a pendulum swinging from one direction to the other – trying to find the balance in the middle. Sometimes swinging in one direction (trying to figure everything out), then sometimes swinging in the opposite direction (letting everything ‘just be’), and sometimes (hopefully more often) coming back to neutral. A place that is much more calm and peaceful. A place where I am much more aware.
Aware – that there are going to be times that I want to, I choose to dig in and figure things out, because there are times I do enjoy looking within, talking things out, and understanding why someone or myself reacted a certain way. I feel this is where growth can happen.
In this more neutral place, I am also aware that there are going to be times when I can and will just let things be. I won’t overthink, or overanalyze – I won’t dig in. I also feel this is where growth happens.
Are you a ‘let it be’ or a ‘let’s dig in’ kind of person? Maybe you found your middle, your neutral between the two – which is great!
Maybe you are not sure where you are on the pendulum – it’s okay. Can you take a moment, take a breath, and check in?
When you are not aware where you are on the pendulum it can easily become an unconscious habit to stay on one end or other. There are many reasons this can happen, such as it has been modeled to you by the people in your life.
For me – becoming a ‘dig in’ kind of person happened over the years because I was an empath, easily taking on the energy of people around me, which contributed to me becoming a people-pleaser.
The empath/people-pleaser in me wanted everyone around me to feel good, ultimately, so that I could feel good. If someone was upset or if I felt like I upset someone, I would feel the need to dig in and figure out why and try to make everyone feel better.
Before I knew I was an empath, I was doing this unconsciously. However, once I became aware of how and why I was overanalyzing and ‘digging in’ all of the time – it made it easier to allow myself to let some things be.
I believe once we’re aware of where we are on the pendulum, we can make the choice to find our neutral place. We can choose to break the habit once we realize we are swinging in extreme directions.
It has been a process of finding a balance between the two and not wanting to dig in all of the time. But I feel that I am finding my way.
The most important and first step is becoming aware of where you tend to fall on the pendulum, either digging in or letting things be.
The next step is to accept where you are and then you can decide if you are ready and would like to find your neutral where it is much more calm and peaceful.
“The only real battle in life is between hanging on and letting go.” – Shannon L. Alder