Have you ever walked into a room and instantaneously felt off, uncomfortable, or uneasy? You were feeling good one minute and then all of a sudden your mood changed and you felt uneasy, sad, agitated, or even angry? This used to happen to me a lot. I was on an emotional roller coaster and didn’t realize it. Kind of crazy, right? This is what can happen when don’t protect your energy. You will easily take on the energy of those around you.

Let me explain. Energy is all around us. We are all made up of energy. This energy is constantly changing and shifting. It is important to be aware of and protect our energy, so we can lessen the sudden spikes in our moods.

Today I’m discussing lesson number 3 of 4 on the topic of “How can you be okay when someone you love is not?” The lesson is “How to keep your energy separate from the energy of the person that is struggling.” In simpler terms, I like to say “Don’t take on other people’s shit.” Here you can review lessons one and two.

When someone is stuck in a struggle, their energy can also get stuck and they spend more time experiencing emotions such as worry, anxiety, sadness, depression, etc. If we do not consciously protect our own energy, we can easily be affected by their energy and we will also begin to feel anxious, worried, etc.  In other words, we “take on their shit.”

Learning how to NOT take on other people’s shit has been life-changing for me. I no longer feel like my moods are being hijacked. Okay, maybe sometimes it still happens to me, but now that I am aware of it, it happens less often. By sharing what I’ve learned, I hope that you too will learn how to keep your energy separate from others, especially from someone important in your life that is stuck in a struggle. Here are some important points to consider:

  • Awareness is key. It’s important to be aware of your energy and to be aware that you have been allowing other people’s energy to affect you. The way to do this is to be curious and observe how you are feeling throughout your day. For example, check-in first thing in the morning. Are you feeling upbeat, down, sad, happy, excited, neutral, etc? Then as you interact with others, do another quick check on how you are feeling. Did your mood change or stay the same? You will also want to check-in before you walk into stores, restaurants, different rooms, etc. Does your mood change or stay the same? You will quickly start to pick up if there are certain people, locations, or settings that can easily change your energy and how you feel. 

  • Protection. Once you are aware of your own energy and that other people’s energy can affect it, you can begin to consciously protect your own. This means you continue to observe how you are feeling throughout the day, but now when you check-in you will be able to determine if it’s your energy, your feelings or someone else’s. If you find that you are starting to take on someone else’s shit, you can take a step back, take a deep breath and consciously come back to your energy and let go of anyone else’s. This one will take practice but is worth it. I’m not saying that you are always going to feel great and positive. What I am saying is that whatever feelings you have are no longer going to be confused with someone else’s, they are going to be yours. 

  • Clearing. As you learn to be aware and protect your energy you will want to also develop a practice to clear the energy of your space, of your belongings and yourself. It is similar to setting an intention, saying a prayer or a blessing. Some examples of times you can do this would be first thing in the morning before you get out of bed. You can visualize your body, your room, your home and your belongings being cleared of any energy that is not yours. Also, you can visualize clearing the energy of cars, rooms or buildings that you will be visiting that day. Think of it as resetting your energy. It is a practice you can revisit throughout the day, but I would definitely recommend a morning and evening practice at a minimum.

When people you love are not okay and are struggling it is especially important to be aware of, protect and clear your energy. It can be easy to let your guard down because you care about them, but remember, it will not do either of you any good if you are both stuck in a struggle.

Next time I will share lesson 4 which will bring together lessons 1 through 3. Until then, here is a quote to think about: “Self-love, self-respect, self-worth, self-compassion: There’s a reason they all start with self. You can’t find them in anyone else.” Anonymous