Have you ever met someone and they seemed perfectly nice, cordial, and friendly when they greeted you, but something about them rubbed you the wrong way? 

Everyone else that meets this person thinks they are great, but not you. They haven’t said or done anything to make you feel this way – it’s just a feeling.

When this happens do you try and minimize the way you feel? Do you ignore the uneasy feelings or do you share them with others?

As a highly sensitive person (HSP) or an empath first impressions are not only how someone presents themselves – it’s also how their energy feels. There are many reasons this can happen and no it is not that you’re not a nice person or that you’re judgmental.

It can be extremely conflicting when you meet someone who appears to be nice, friendly, maybe overly friendly and everyone around you adores this person – but you get this uneasy feeling from them.

I know the feeling. It’s happened to me. Sometimes I would share the uneasy feelings with others and no one would agree with me.

Was I being judgy? 

It would cause me to question myself and how I felt about this person. I would quickly try to ignore and minimize the uneasy feelings. I would tell myself to let it go, to not be so judgmental – everyone else likes them and so “should” I.

It didn’t make sense to me until I knew I was an empath and that I was picking up on the energy of other people. I realized that I was feeling uncomfortable when the words the person was saying did not match the energy they were emitting.

Knowing I was an empath helped me make sense of the way I was feeling. It was okay that I felt different about this person – than everyone else did

I don’t always share these uneasy feelings with others, but I do make sure I pay attention to them. The past has shown me that I need to listen and be curious – instead of ignoring how I’m feeling.

I came across this quote – “observe, don’t absorb.” I looked it up and it’s a technique that was developed by Ross Rosenberg to help people who are attracted to and stuck in relationships with narcissists.

The technique teaches you to actively observe how you feel around others, especially those people that make you feel uncomfortable, so that you can separate yourself and your emotions from this person and consciously not absorb their emotions. 

I thought it would be a great reminder and/or mantra for empaths. It is another tool to use when you know are going to be hanging around a lot of people or someone you know tends to emit conflicting or negative energy.

You can write it down on a sticky note and post it somewhere you will see it often, or better yet somewhere you can read it before you head out of your house. Repeat it when you catch yourself getting those uncomfortable feelings.

It takes a lot of self-awareness, compassion and practice to learn not to be an emotional sponge – absorbing all the difficult emotions around you. 

Sometimes you are going to forget and you will end up absorbing. It’s okay. These are the times you can practice clearing your energy. It’s all about progress, not perfection.

Observe, don’t absorb.” Ross Rosenberg