After over 2 years – they finally talked to me!
This is a person I spoke about in a previous post “What if they won’t talk to you?” It just so happened that I was visiting the state where this person lives. It’s been a while since I’ve tried to reach out, so I debated what I wanted to do. I felt like there were 3 options. I could:
- be stubborn and not reach out at all
- be passive-aggressive and simply show up on their doorstep- surprise!
- take a moment and be intentional with what I wanted to do
I chose option #3 – to be intentional. When I tuned in to my intention, it was to reconnect and let them know that I missed them – that was it.
I heard through the grapevine that this person wanted to reach out but felt awkward because of how much time had passed and they didn’t know what to say – so they would end up doing nothing and then more time passed, more awkwardness, etc.
I’m not going to lie, part of me thought about forcing them to explain to me why they have not responded to any of my calls or text messages. Why did they ice me out? Why? Why? Why?
But I knew this would not be productive. I knew that all it would do is make this person feel bad and for what? So I could feel better – for a moment. No – so I let these thoughts pass.
A couple of weeks before I was going to be in town, I sent a simple text message explaining that I missed them and would love to see them when I was in town – and I waited.
They responded! At first, they were not going to be around, but their plans changed last minute and I was going to get to see them! I was so excited and a little bit nervous.
It was great! We immediately hugged and chatted for a long while before we went out to lunch. Surprisingly, it didn’t feel awkward. We talked and talked the entire time, catching up on life.
No, they did not address why they had not reached out, and neither did I.
However, some of our conversations got a bit deep. They have been struggling and have been experiencing many changes in their life. They talked about how they have become more aware of patterns in their life and expressed how their perception about people and life have been shifting.
It reminded me that each of us is on our healing path, learning different lessons at different times. It reminded me to tune back into compassion, to let go of judgments for myself and others.
I am not sure how our relationship is going to be moving forward. I know what I want. I want to stay connected. I want to start talking again – regularly. I want to hear what is going on in their life from them, not just what I hear through the “grapevine.”
Afterward, I caught myself going down the rabbit hole of overthinking the relationship. I started thinking – Will they stay in touch? What if they don’t? Did I say or do something to upset them? Are they happy we reconnected? How soon can I reach out again? What do they think about the time we spent together?
Ugh, going down the rabbit hole is not very fun. I let myself slide a little and then I remembered how unproductive this is. I remembered how miserable it felt and how it had consumed me over 2 years ago.
So, I did what helped me last time. I meditated, journaled, and energetically released this person. I wrapped them in divine love and handed them and the situation over to God. I allowed my mind, body, and soul to relax – the best I could.
I released expectations of how I wanted things to be between us and I made a conscious decision to not take any of it personally.
Lastly, I connected to my intention with this relationship, which is to love them unconditionally.
“Positive thinking isn’t about expecting the best to happen every time, but accepting that whatever happens is the best for this moment.” ~ Unknown